Sylus's Guide to Pissing Off Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez
by ControlYourself
Summary: A little lighthearted comedy involving one beautiful blue-haired bastard, one fetching phoenix-haired loony, and one plan to overthrow Aizen with an unbearable shortage of tea. Really, what more could you want in a fan fiction?
1. Chapter 1

You know, these chairs Aizen chose for the Espada meeting room are well odd. Why on earth are the backs so high? Are the other Espada freakishly tall? Or am I just freakishly short? Mortified at this prospect I quickly glanced at Aizen who was sitting to my right at the head of the table. Nope, he also looks like a shrimp, so I must be normal sized. Inwardly I sighed. How awkward would it be for the new Espada to be a midget? I suppose it would be almost as awkward as the time I snuck a sip of Aizen's tea when I thought he wasn't looking.

Im my defence I only wanted to find out why the hell he loves the stuff so much, and as it is my venture gained me no knowledge regarding this. Although, I did discover that he was indeed watching me.

I have never been so scared in my whole life.

But I'm still curious. I really, really wanna get another sip, just to make sure it wasn't magical. Only problem is, Aizen refuses to drink his wondrous elixir around me anymore, so petrified is he that I will steal another illustrious sip from his dainty white cup.

_Damn._ I'm quite good at this over-dramatising descriptions shit. I think I'll challenge Szayel to a duel sometime. Speak of the pink-haired devil!

"Hey Sylus, how are you doing?" Szayel asked after politely greeting Aizen and pulling up an oddly proportioned chair. He proceeded to interrogate me about my body and training routine. I swear, he's been doing this ever since he…I dunno…birthed me? Created me? I'm not sure whether he's my friend, co-worker, brother or mother. Nonetheless, he is the only Espada I've had contact with in my 6 months here, mainly due to the fact that my "birth" had a few complications.

"Yo! New guy!" A creepy voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked up to see a giant spoon with an eye patch sitting next to me.

_Ooooh_. So _that's_ why the chairs have long backs.

"Yo," I replied and gave him one of those really cool two-fingered salutes.

Just as the silence was starting to get awkward – okay, it already was fucking awkward. How could it not be when a creepy giant spoon guy is staring at you with a pedophile worthy grin? – the other Espada walked in.

"You are late," Aizen remarked.

"No, you're early," A voice retorted. I didn't bother to look who as I was too preoccupied with the Espada with the boobs.

_Mrowr_.

Aizen sighed. "Well, as long as you're all here now – " He looked around the table. " – we can go on to a very important matter. As you all know, we are down by one member since Ulquiorra defected,"

Suddenly a snort interrupted Aizen. Looking around, I saw that it came from the blue-haired brute sitting a few seats away from me. Aizen had told me all the names of the Espada before hand, but I can't remember them for the life of me. Although, I'm pretty sure this one must be Grimmjow. Aizen repeatedly told me to keep an eye out for him, as he'll probably try and fight me in the near future.

I quite look forward to it.

"So let me introduce you to the new Cuatro Espada - Sylus Serpta Delgado," Aizen waved 9 pairs of eyes in my direction. Or rather 8 pairs plus one for the weird guy shaped like a giant spoon. I smirked, trying to look cool. I don't think anyone was particularly impressed.

"I trust you'll all get along fine," I noticed Aizen look at Grimmjow as he said that. "Now, back to your duties,"

Everyone got up to leave - except the brute. He sat and glared at me. I think he was trying to intimidate me, or something. It wasn't working, but _damn_, he looked mighty cool while doing it.

I wonder if he'll teach me?

One thing you should know about me is that I laugh. Quite often. I mean this place is so boring, what else can you do? So, I laughed.

Grimmjow's face stiffened as if I had made the most insulting noise ever. Then, he stood up quickly and said to no one in particular, "Well well well, mystery already solved! This one's a looney just like Wonderweiss,"

Okay, that's just mean.

In a flash I pinned Grimmjow against the wall with my forearm pressed firmly to his throat. The shock in his eyes was brief as he covered it up quickly with a smirk, but oh, how I enjoyed every split second of it.

"What you gonna do now, looney?" He spat.

"Hmmm...Well I think I'm gonna - **BOOP!**" I yelled as I squeezed his nose before running away.

As I laughed myself all the way back to my quarters, I heard Grimmjow scream profanities and Gin Ichimaru laugh hysterically while saying,

"Man, I love that guy!"

Aah. It's good to be an Espada.


	2. Chapter 2

Fuck Sylus. He is the most irritating, unpredictable, arrogant, creepy bastard of an Espada I have ever met. And that's saying a lot coming from another arrogant bastard. But at least I admit it.

Shit, I even embrace it.

But him?

He fucking celebrates it.

Sometimes when I'm alone in my quarters doing my "duties" I can hear those faggots Szayel, Ichimaru and Sylus all laughing together. I hate the sound of laughter. Well, genuine, happy laughter. Evil laughter, or manic laughter, or even insane laughter is awesome, but not happy laughter. Ever since Sylus humiliated me in front of Aizen and Tousen a couple days back, Gin has been fawning over him like he's his own fucking son. He's absolutely smitten. And with Szayel in the mix it just gets weirder. I thought Szayel created Sylus or something? Is this incest?

I think the old bastard got it easy. He's run off with that ginger bimbo to the human world to live happily ever after or some shit like that. I would never have thought that stone hearted Ulquiborra would be the first Espada to "fall in love" and disobey Aizen. It must have been the girl's boobs. Hell, if she were any less irritating I would've beaten Ulquiorra to her.

_Fuck. _From one damn evil to another. Couldn't Szayel have made a nicer Fourth Espada? Perhaps someone easily intimidated by me? Or maybe someone who thought I was the shit? Couldn't he even make someone who was female? Am I asking too much?

Tch.

Probably.

_Note to self: Kill off Baraggan and get Szayel to make a hot female Espada._

Angrily I punched another hole in my special wall designated specifically for acts of frustration. I'm not one to be organized, but I realized just punching any old wall was starting to make my quarters look like it was inhabited by a wild animal. Last time I checked, bastards are not wild animals. Besides, women might start to think I'm a bit _too_ aggressive and run out on me. I think it must be more impressive to them to have a crater wall because they always go,

"_Ooooh_, _Grimmjow, you're sooo strong_,"

And blink their stupid little eyelashes at me. Let's be honest – I can't stand 99% of the women I sleep with. But hey, an Espada's gotta do what an Espada's gotta do.

Still feeling a bit pent-up, I punched another hole in my wall, felt marginally better and decided it was time to get back to my duties.

Hmph. Duties. More like training shit hard since our humiliating loss at the fake Karakura Town. I don't really need to train of course, the fact that I wasn't at the battle is the whole reason we lost. I would've crushed all those Shittygamies with one cero. But the fact is, all the other Espada are being good little nuns and are no doubt getting stronger, and I sure as hell don't wanna lose my rank as Sexta Espada. I mean this rank has my name written all over it – especially the "sex" part.

Remember that bastard Nnoitra? Yeah, like anyone could forget a face like _that_. He slyly sidled up to me today and whispered some shit in my ear about me being a PMSing kitty.

I'm not even sure what that means. I thought "PMS" was code for "Stay The Fuck Away From Harribel Once A Month." But it still pissed me off, and I gave him one to the head, which he returned twice as hard. . .to my face.

Come on. All I ask for is respect around this place. Do I get it? No way. Did I ever get it? No fucking way. And Sylus has only aggravated this.

Ulquiorra also used to say this one phrase to me which I never fully understood:

"Grimmjow, you are the bane of my existence,"

But I totally understand it now.

Sylus, you are the bane of my fucking existence.

* * *

**A/N: I know a lot of people don't like UlquiHime – I didn't either, I was more a UryuuXOrihime supporter, but hey they grew on me – but I had to get rid of Ulquiborra some way or another, right? XD **

**[Ulquiborra isn't a typo by the way. Cuz you know, he's _boring_, therefore he's a _bore_ therefore Ulqui_borra_? XD]  
**


	3. Chapter 3

Aizen lifted his supremely white tea cup with his pinky outstretched to his delicately pursed lips and took one long, luscious sip before setting it back down with a gentle clink.

"_Aaah," He sighed and lifted his eyelids to look at me. "Sylus, you make the best tea I have ever tasted in my hundreds of years of afterlife," _

"_Thank you my Lord," I uttered and bowed so low my head almost touched my toes. It was this movement that drew my attention to the fact that I was wearing brightly marked pants which where tight at the ankles and thighs, but poofed out dramatically at the knees._

_I found myself wondering how on earth I'd be able to practice my tap dancing in these outlandish pants._

"_What do you make it with?" Aizen interrupted my thoughts._

"_Opium leaves, sir. And I replaced the sugar with a healthier alternative – cocaine,"_

"_It is…truly…marvellous," Muttered Aizen slowly, as if he savoured every syllable._

_I glanced at my comical pants again._

"_How can I practice my tap dancing with these ridiculous things on?" I voiced my thoughts._

"_You'll have to take that up with Szayel, he was the one who insisted on the pants. He says they're high fashion,"_

"_Szayel…?" I mumbled in confusion._

_All of a sudden there was a tremendous bang behind me. I whipped around to find Szayel standing there with some sort of food smeared across his face._

"_Tally-ho!" He shouted and ran away, but rather awkwardly in the silly pants._

"SYLUS!"

I awoke with a start as Szayel screamed my name and jumped onto my bed.

"The fuck?" Get off my bed you gaybo!" I shouted and shoved him onto the floor.

"You're so mean to your best friend," Szayel wailed dramatically from the ground. "Never mind the fact that I also double as your creator!"

I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"Yeah, some creator you are. I bet you have hundreds of little Espada eggs cooped up in that lab. When Aizen demands another you simply pop one out and sit on it for a couple of days till it hatches,"

Szayel giggled. Like a little girl, might I add. He then proceeded to stick his head over the edge of my bed and grin at me.

"So what are we gonna do today, huh?"

Over the last 2 weeks Szayel, Gin and I have been committing various acts of mischief around Hueco Mundo, simply because we found a sort of kinsmanship with each other – we all think Hueco Mundo is well boring and would like to spice it up a little bit with our unique personalities. Aizen calls us "The Three Musketeers", although I'm not quite sure who or what that is, and always looks quite amused when he sees or hears of what we've done.

"I dunno, how can we possibly out do what we did yesterday?"

"Oh please. Painting the whole outside of Las Noches pink is not THAT impressive,"

"But it was pretty impressive when you stood in front of it and it looked like your head had no top!"

Just then I remembered my dream and started laughing feverishly at the memory of Szayel in those pants with food all over his face.

"I _so _have an idea!"

* * *

**A/N: **_**Oooh!**_** Cliff-hanger! **

**I like short chapters. Cuz I get bored easy. Unless the story's really good.**

**Also, just in case anyone was wondering, Sylus uses "well" in the same way as "very". So "well boring" = "very boring".**

**I have no idea where this is going. _**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Along with this chapter I was gonna give you guys a link to a picture of Sylus so you all can see what he looks like because I haven't managed to squeeze a description of him in here. But I don't like the pic T_T it looks really shit GAH. So. You'll just have to wait a bit longer I suppose?**

**But in thee mean time, why don't you guys tell me how you think Sylus looks in yo reviews?**

**That would be great :D Fow grizzel.**

**

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**

"No fucking way,"

"Oh come on Grimmjow! It's not that bad! They're actually quite charming, don't you think?"

"No I don't fucking think! Piss off cuntface,"

I sighed. This is proving to be just as difficult as I had suspected. Maybe even a little bit more.

"Look. I'm not particularly fond of them either, I don't think anyone is, but Lord Aizen insists,"

Grimmjow eyed the pants I was holding up in my hands and then looked at the pair I was wearing.  
Geez. If looks could kill, I would be a toasty little ham sandwich.

"No. I would rather be dead."

"That could be arranged…" Came Gin's singsong voice from behind me.

Grimmjow simply smirked. "I can see what you three are trying to do. Do you think I'm that stupid? You guys are obviously trying to prank me by making me wear those fucking ugly pants. Didn't you think I'd get suspicious when I saw that Sylus and Szayel are the only Espada wearing them?"

"Aaah. But they're not the only two," Gin smiled. "Have a look!"

Grimmjow glanced out the door of his quarters and saw Harribel walking to her own quarters wearing the pants I dreamt about – rainbow striped, tight at the calves and thighs but flaring out considerably at the knees in a sort of diamond shape. I'm sure that if Grimmjow had a sense of humour, he would've laughed, because really, she looked utterly preposterous.

"_Fuck._ So Aizen really wants us to wear these as part of our new uniform? Really?"

I nodded and beamed at him, "Wanna try them on big boy?"

"Fuck you," He snarled before grabbing the pants roughly from my hands.

"Heeeey ladies!"

Oh shit. _Nnoitra._

"Just wanna say that these pants are the shit Szayel! I didn't know you had such a talent for sewing,"

I turned around to see Nnoitra leaning coolly against the wall with his arms crossed and a sneer smeared across his face.

Szayel piped up. "See? Even Nnoitra's wearing them!"

"He looks fucking stupid in them," Came Grimmjow's rather lame retort.

Nnoitra laughed it off and sang, "Peeee Eemmm Eesss," before turning around and sauntering out.

Well. That was weird.

Gin smiled to himself and put on his very best sugary sweet bastard voice.

"Put them on now Grimmjow, we have a meeting with Lord Aizen in a few hours. He would be very upset if you disobeyed him. Tata now!"

* * *

Now came the time we'd all been waiting for.

Everybody walked in –

Aizen's face remained motionless.

Everybody sat down –

Aizen's face still remained motionless.

Hath this man no sense of humour? This is hilarious dammit!

"…Sylus,"

"Yes my Lord?"

"Is this your doing?"

Fuck. What should I say? Should I be all like: _"Na dude, it was them pixies, invaded my mind made me do crazy shit, let's have a joint?"_ Or maybe like: _"I'm not real – I'm actually Ulquiorra in a devilishly handsome costume,"_ ?

Why am I such a terrible liar?

No. It's obviously my doing. Who else would do something so utterly stupid?

"Yes, my Lord,"

He gazed a cold, firm, super scary gaze at me. Oh _shizz_.

Please laugh. Or giggle. Or smirk. Or smile.

Maybe I should pull a funny face?

How can you look at someone for so long without blinking?

Fuck. I'm gonna start laughing.

I'll look at Tousen. He won't mind.

Hell, he won't even _know_.

In the midst of my personal internal calamity, a soft, mellow chuckle resonated throughout the room. To my surprise I found that said chuckle was coming from Aizen's very own Lordish mouth.

"Very good," He chortled, "Very good indeed. Though I wonder; how will you outdo yourself next time?"

_Holy hell._

I grinned and bowed my head in thanks. When I lifted it up again, Grimmjow punched me abruptly in the mouth.

His voice was no more than a hiss as he said, "Bastard,"

But you know what? I was just so pleased with myself that I simply grinned even harder and said,

"Why, thank you dear,"


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: IT'S FINALLY HERE. Happy dance! I rather enjoyed my mini-hiatus, really helped me get into this story again. Also - Longest chapter to date! Most of my chapters have been 700 words, but this one is over 1000. BOOM. Bumper edition to make up for the long wait.  
**

**I've tried to make my writing fuller and more…more? Improvement yes?**

* * *

"Welcome to day one of your exclusive Espada Training!" Gin smiled. "Some of you may not know, but Lord Aizen is thoroughly unimpressed by the amount of slacking you all have been doing when it comes to your training. It seems that without proper supervision it has proven too difficult for most of you to manage."

I swear I could kick this guy's head in till it looks like a little, moist, red cake with silver icing. I don't know much about food, but I think I'd like cake. Especially if it's made out of Gin's face.

"So our Lord as called in Commander Tousen and I to do some bottom-wiping. You may prefer to call it 'supervised training', but whatever the case you can be sure it will be seven days of pure painful joy – for Tousen and I anyway."

Ha.

I glanced at Sylus.

He was pulling his hair and smiling idiotically like a little kid about to open presents on his birthday. He caught my glance with his icy eyes and – I dunno how the fuck he does it but – he grinned even wider and sniggered.

Fool.

This training could be quite beneficial. Seeing as all Sylus has been doing since he first appeared is pulling stupid jokes on the inhabitants of Hueco Mundo, he should be relatively weak for a Cuatro Espada. I, on the other hand, have been busy training up. Sometimes I would entertain thoughts of utterly destroying Sylus in a few satisfying blows to keep me motivated.

"So, lets get started shall we?" Tousen smiled – in a sort of retarded way.

"Sylus! What's wrong with you? Stop that!" Szayel looked at me with frowning eyes.

I continued giggling. "I can't help it. I'm just so excited! Can you believe this? I wonder if I'll get to fight Grimmjow. I'll kick him till he forgets where his penis is!"

Szayel laughed and looked at me puzzlingly, almost searching me for some sort of scientific results table detailing the electrical impulses in my grey matter that make me be the way that I am. I shoved my hands into my pockets – of our usual pants, may I add. Aizen liked my prank but he drew the line at officially changing the pants. With hanging heads and heavy hearts, Szayel, Gin and I packed them away in a cupboard, perhaps to be used later as fancy dress costumes or towels. Or murder weapons.

Gin started our training off with the usual hand-to-hand combat and agility exercises which we completed in pairs. I paired with Szayel naturally, and I couldn't help but notice that since no one really liked Grimmjow and Nnoitra, they were left with no choice but to pair up with each other. Okay maybe I didn't just 'notice' this enjoyable situation – perhaps I openly gloated and taunted them.

But only a little.

Gin is a man I just can't get my head around. He witnessed all this animosity flying about as we did our simple agility exercises and perhaps, like Aizen himself, the small mice that make his mind work began to chatter. Perhaps they ran from one corner of his brain cavity to the other, storing what he was hearing and seeing, and searching for something devilishly cunning to do in counter – or in spite. Perhaps they found that something and had danced explicitly in glee covertly beneath his silvery hair before he walked up to us and suggested his "brilliant idea".

"Sylus, Grimmjow, I have a brilliant idea. I think you guys should practice some hand-to-hand combat together,"

Or maybe he's just a fucking loony.

We looked at each other in doubt. I giggled, in a sort of excited, manly way, and fluttered my eyelashes at him. Predictably, he threw a crazy frown-smirk on his face before throwing a punch at my face.

And then t'was begun. The most epic hand-to-hand-you-can't-cut-him-even-though-you-really-wanna combat fights that have ever taken place in the history of arrancar kind has begun.

He threw some more punches at my face but – Ha! I dodged them all. Then BOOM. I slapped him one to the cheek like a betrayed wife and exclaimed in my very best prissy lady-voice:

"Yew Busturd!"

Seething, Grimmjow bristled and trembled with renewed hatred for my cool good looks and charming antics, and retaliated with full force. He threw kicks, punches, elbow jabs, backhand slaps, gut-busters and even a few feeble fistfuls of sand at me, but to no avail. I was dancing and prancing around him like a beautiful gazelle foraging in the forest.

Grimmjow eventually stood still and panted faintly while watching me perform my pretty dance. One could almost see the hatred simmer in his toes, travelling up his monstrous frame all the way to his mouth, where it exploded in large, frothy syllables.

"What the FUCK are you? A fucking fairy?"

I paused mid ballerina twirl.

"…Yes, perhaps I am,"

And then continued, laughing because I simply had nothing really special to laugh at. This irritated, fuming face of Grimmjow's is starting to get monotonous. When you think about it, he really only has four facial expressions:

I'm-Grimmjow-And-I'm-Fucking-Sexy Look.

I'm-Grimmjow-And-I'm-Fucking-Pissed-Off Look.

I'm-Grimmjow-And-I'm-Fucking-Sleeping Look.

I'm-Grimmjow-And-I'm-Fucking-You Look. (I suppose he must have a look like that, never experienced it personally though.)

After a few more desperate attempts from Grimmjow's flailing arms he eventually spat at me, turned his back and crossed his arms. Confounded by this, I quickly completed my fairy dance with a swooping twirl and summersault, much to the applause of Wonderweiss and Szayel, and then observed Grimmjow for a few moments.

There is something disconcerting about a sulking Grimmjow. I suppose it's mainly due to the fact that it hardly ever occurs, and when it does occur, it makes the air flow differently, taste differently.

"Well, you did manage to hit me twice," I called out to him from over his shoulder.

Nothing.

I edged a bit closer.

"They were good kicks. Almost split my scrotum that one!"

Still nothing.

If penis jokes can't even crack this guy up, then I have no fucking clue.

I stand puzzling over this emotion I feel. It's like someone made me gulp down a bottle of pure vodka, leaving nothing but a burning, spluttering esophagus behind. Could it be…guilt?

I turned around to face Szayel with a quizzical look on my face.

"Maybe the joke's on me this time," I muttered to him.

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**Hopefully you wont have to wait so long for Chapter 6 ._.**

**Read and review would make me very happy in the pants : 3**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Nyaaah! Chapter 6! :D I must admit I have been holding this back for a bit. And then there was exams. And then a new computer which didn't have MS Word. But now i have it! Hurrah!**

* * *

_There was blood. Brilliant blood. Beautiful blood. It swirled in all colours of grey on the floor, beckoning to me._

'Closer…come closer…'

_Now that I noticed, everything was grey. Shades of grey. I straightened up from where I was kneeling on the floor and set my gaze on the scene that lay over my shoulder._

_Shinigamis._

_Hundreds and hundreds of zanpaktou wielding shinigamis._

_Fuck._

_I'm excited._

_I sprang forward, grinning from ear to fucking ear, slashing shinigamis like I have never drawn blood before. Suddenly –_

"Shhh, shut up! Stop making your shoes squeak!"

_Wha…?_

"I can't fucking help it! I don't control my shoes! They're uncontrollable! They're like ninjas!"

_Who the fuck is whispering? I stopped mid-slash and whipped my head from left to right._

"Don't be absurd Sylus! He's gonna wake up so hush!"

"No you hush!"

_Sylus? Where? Turning around in circles I searched through the massive crowd of shinigamis but found no sign ––_

"**GOOD MORNING!"**

"Aarg!" I shouted as the unwelcome wisps of lights wrenched open my eyelids.

After a few seconds I released that Sylus, Szayel and Gin were standing at the foot of my bed grinning at me.

What.

In.

The.

Fuck.

"Good morning Grimmjow!" Sylus beamed and jumped onto my bed. He lay stretched out on his side, head in his hand, smiling at me like he was keeping the greatest secret on the planet.

"Get the fuck away from me, fag," I growled and edged away from him, forming a cero in my hand.

"Woah, hold on there, you little panther you! Hear me out! I have a present for you," He beckoned to Szayel with a nod of his head. Still creeped the shit out, I kept the cero alive in my hand.

"Here! We baked these specially for you." Squealed Sylus as Szayel thrusted a box full of muffins in my face.

Fucking muffins.

Honestly?

I let my cero evaporate out of surprise and took the box from Szayel under Sylus's delighted gaze.

"But I don't need to eat, dickhead. Neither do you. Are you so thick that you've forgotten that?"

"Yes, it is true that it is not necessary for us to eat, but that doesn't mean we can't," Szayel interrupted.

Sylus giggled annoyingly. "Exactly. I felt so guilty about making you sulk like a little baby yesterday – "

I formed another cero.

Sylus didn't even flinch.

" – that I thought I'd make it up to you by baking you what Aizen calls 'delectable delicacies'. He also advised me that the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Though I'm not sure what exactly that means, I thought it was fairly decent advice."

I looked in doubt at the muffins. "I think you're trying to poison me,"

Sylus gasped in theatrical repulsion. "Never! Look, let me show you,"

He grabbed a muffin at random, shoved it in his mouth and smiled widely – so widely that bits of muffin peeked out – and attempted to say:

"Mmmm! Delithious!"

Before gulping down the thing without so much as chewing.

"See? I'm perfectly normal," He concluded with satisfaction.

"I wouldn't jump to conclusions," I grumbled, dissolving my cero as I spoke. "But I'm sure as hell not convinced that you did this all out of guilt. I'm not that fucking gullible,"

* * *

Over the past few days I have been entertaining some thoughts. Firstly – why do I have hair? Why does everyone have hair? It serves no function. It just sits there, lapping up my spiritual energy so it can grow longer and fall all about my face like some drunken cuckold. Tch. Damn useless.

Secondly – why do I only have five fingers on each hand? Surely six would be more useful? I could hold more stuff…and stuff.

Thirdly – why are we ruled by Aizen? What gives such an inferior shinigami the right to rule over hundreds of arrancars? Gin has told Szayel and I only a handful of stories from his Soul Society days, and most of them aren't stories which hold any valuable information. I know Aizen must be pretty powerful, but come on; he can't be more powerful than all ten Espada combined. And it is this thought which got me thinking further.

What if we got rid of Aizen?

I noticed Grimmjow was looking at me with his 'I'm-Grimmjow-And-I'm-Fucking-Pissed-Off Look'.

"I'm not that fucking gullible," He ended off with an irritated tone.

I almost squealed with excitement. "Indeed! I am quite certain of this. In fact, this is what I have been counting on to initiate the next phase of my plan."

Grimmjow cocked his head slightly and frowned deeply, but said nothing.

I took this as a cue to continue.

"Of late, I have been having many mind conversations with myself over various things. Naturally most of them are useless thoughts, such as why the fuck does a big man live in the sand outside? And what makes you such a sour pussy? But this is not what I have been itching to tell you for days now,"

Grimmjow's expression remained as it did before, except there was a faint wash of skepticism, hatred, and amusement splashed across his features.

I paused some more, hoping to create a bit of that "dramatic effect" shit.

"Are you going to tell me or fucking not?" Grimmjow bristled and frowned so deeply his eyebrows almost furrowed into his forehead. (I didn't know that kind of frown was even possible.)

"Come a little closer," I smirked.

He did nothing.

I wagged my index finger at him and raised an eyebrow. I thought of adding a bit of promiscuous giggling, but decided I would rather not have Grimmjow's special "cero-moisturizer" blasted on my face. Because no matter what he said, the last thing it fucking did was moisturize.

Grimmjow sighed and threw me a dirty look before leaning slightly closer and tilting his ear toward my general direction. And then, perhaps to make himself feel a bit better about his situation, he growled:

"You're fucking stupid, you know that?"

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**A/N: Feed me reviews! Please :D  
**


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